Lencois

Lencois is a small town, once a diamond mining village, in the Chapada Diamantina area of Brazil. No, I had never heard of it either. But we decided to stop off there to break up the hellish 2 day journey accross to the Pantanal. 6 hours away fom Salvador, it seemed like a good place to stay a couple of days and enjoy the countryside. The whole vibe was very different from the coastal places we had been to, still laid back but a bit more down-to-earth. We decided on a pousada recommended in the guide book and set off from the bus station in the midday heat. Confidence in Vicci´s map reading skills was high and although the bags were heavy we were looking forward to the friendly guesthouse we had read all about. Quite what the Lonely Planet writer was on when he drew the map I don´t know, although lack of street names did not help, I am not sure. Add to this Vicci´s determination we reach the very top of the hill and soon we were quite lost, incredibly warm and rapidly losing the will to live. Strangely Vicci however was still bouncing around, as if she hadn´t just climbed the equivalent of the Eiger, with a goat strapped to her back. She expressed her doubts about my ability to complete the Inca trail and I expressed doubts I wasn´t about to shout/cry/fall over. Luckily we asked a local man the way and he ordered his son to take us there. The son did not look too impressed.

Once we settled in we picked our tour for the next day, which turned out to be amazing (note to self - learn some new superlatives). Our sleep that night was somewhat disturbed by a drunken German talking endlessely about Onions, and a rooster crowing all night, but other than that it was all good! In the morning we were given our uber-tasty packed lunch and packed off in a Range Rover with Ayrton Senna at the wheel. First we came to a waterfall, much bigger than the last one I visited, so we all stripped off and swam across the lake to play about in the massive jets. Our guide Carlos was a mentalist, jumping around, singing, pushing us down hills, laughing at everything all day long - we wanted to adopt him, he was ace! After that we visited some caves and went deep underground where they turned the lights off, which was really eerie! We saw lots of phallic shaped rock formations, cue lots of sniggering etc, and made a reinactment of the Titanic on the walls in shadows (you probably had to be there). In the afternoon we went to an azure blue lake and ate lunch, witnessed a mini-tornado, looked in some more caves, then went up a a mountain to watch sunset over the region. As you see I am no good at remembering names of things, so you will just have to make it up, I am not sure it matters anyway. We rounded off the day with a lovely dinner of beef steak, with chef´s special sauce, with some people we´d met in Salvdor, then went home to pack and prepare for ANOTHER bloody coach journey to the nations capital, Brasilia.

Salvador

We arrived in Salvador late in the evening, and from what we had heard and read we had prepared ourselves for the inevitable mugging the second we stepped off the coach. Somewhat perplexed we had managed to rescue our luggage and had all personal belongings in tact, we decided to aid the upcoming theivery by piling in to an unlicenced taxi and heading for a hostel in a dodgy part of town. After arriving and settling in to our hostel, which had echoes of strangeways about the bedrooms, piled as we were in triple decker bunks. Thankfully the check-in lottery had worked in my favour this time and I wasn´t made to sleep up with the Gods. Mel and Vicci were not so lucky, I did not snigger once, honest! We decided to take a wander round the streets and find some dinner, but the area round the hostel (in the historic centre) felt quite imposing and unsafe. We did seem to attract quite a lot of attention from the kids begging on the streets and the local men. After dinner we went back to bed wondering what on earth we were doing there.

Overnight something magic happened and we woke up to bright sunshine, a lovely breakfast and, when we ventured outside, some really lovely buildings and stalls and women wandering around in traditional Bahian costume and the now obligatory bunch of men practising Capoeira in the streets. We spent the day wandering round the markets, buying too much jewelery and eating amazing food at a restaurant overlooking the bay - my Feijoada (kind of bean and beef stew) was the size of my head! Unfortunately the next day the heavens opened but we did spend some quality time in a Cuban cafe downing Cappuchinos - which came as a bit of a surprise as I wasn´t aware I liked them! In the end we didn´t get to see as much of beach life there as we had hoped but we did end up really falling for the place and I´d definately recommend it to anyone on their way up the coast!

The Bahia Coast

I have to say my heart sank as Vicci bounded over and announced she had sorted us out a lambada class for that evening at 7. Visions of Bar Salsa and being trodden on by 20 different hopeless men flooded my mind. We were sat on the beach in Arraial Da Ajuda, where we had arrived the night before, enjoying the sunshine and watching the sea slowly roll in towards us. I had the feeling my peace was about to be rudely disrupted. As my brain sat there trying to think of ways out of the situation I had an epiphany, and decided that as I was not in Britain anymore, maybe I could stop being so Britih and it would be ok! As it happened we had an amazing evening. Fabio and Edmundo who Vicci had met on the beach practising their Capoeira were lovely and looked after us that evening. We went to a bar some way out of town where we were the only non-Brazilians and were made very welcome by everyone, especially one very enthusiastic if slightly drunk lady we tagged Mrs Welcome, as that was the only word of English she really knew, and she insisted on repeating it ad infinitum, accompanied by crazy laughter. I got over my fears and got up on stage and did something approximating the lambada. Though my footwork left a lot to be desired, the guys soon figured out I was perfectly capable of spinning round and round and proceeded to fling me about the dance floor with abandon. I have to say, Brazilian men can MOVE and despite dripping with sweat still remained mighty attractive! Eventually we beat a retreat back to the hostel cos Vicci had danced so much she sliced her foot open and one drunk guy seemed to be trying to purchase Melissa!

Arraial Da Ajuda was all in all an amazing town, with beautiful beaches, stunning buildings all coloured from orange to blue and the rest of the rainbow in between. It was with sadness that we upped and made the 8 hour trip up the coast Itacare. The town itself was not as pretty but we did a daytrip out to an amazing waterfall, the name of which currently escapes me! We explored the local trails and swam around with the whole place to ourselves, it was blissful. After that it was time to head back to the hostel, pack our things and make another 8 hour trip the next morning to Salvador, starting to feel a bit like the littlest hobo!

Rio baby!

Hola! Thought I´d better pause for a minute, catch my breath and try and make sense of the last few days! We arrived in Rio after a 4 hour delay to torrential downpours reminiscent of monsoon season. At first I thought the pilot had made a mistake and flown us right back to Heathrow, but there was the unmistakable sight of Copacabana beach to assure me otherwise. If I thought we were glad to get off the plane, I had to spare a thought for the poor English guy off to meet the Brazilian in-laws for the first time, whose daughter had kindly just weed on him in her sleep!

We were staying in the Mango Tree hostel in Ipanema and as soon as we walked through the door I knew Melissa had picked well. In the past few days we´ve met loads of lovely people, including an American couple studying at possibly the best University in the world. Basically they get to spend a "semester at sea" - sailing round the world on a cruise ship cum floating classroom and stopping off for holidays all the way round - Gordon Brown take note. We´ve been to see the big JC, take th obligatory stupid photos, arms outstretched, we´ve watched the sunset from Sugar Loaf mountain, Caipharinias in hand, been on a really enlightening Favela tour, spent some quality time on the beach and eaten anything with bananas in that we could get our hands on. We also got into the spirit of things at the Brazil vs Bolivia world cup qualifier, which was immense fun, despite a being a no-score draw. I did after all score a free baloon hat and some face paints out of it!

The food had been great too, even though my exotic order of chicken, bananas, bacon and potato basically turned out to be the Brazilian equavalent of a KFC fun bucket with a banana fritter on top for good measure. We did manage to get some great traditional Brazilian food from an enthusiastic resturanteur called Mario, who had added his own authentic Italian touch (or Mario splash as we decided) to our black beans, rice and meat with... well tinned spaghetti. Slightly odd but very tasty.

Anyway we´ve left Rio now and taken a 20 hour coach up the coast (only in ride entertainment a video, yes a video, of Ice Age, only on silent cos it was night time). I managed to read 2 books and get some quality window gazing done. We are in a stunning town called Arrail de Ajude, full of coloured buildings, beaches and the worlds nicest hostel with a lovely pool, hammocks, big wooden balconies and a poodle, who is staring at me as I type. We originally planned 2 nights here but I could stay a month so we will see, anyway we´re off out now in search of seafood, samba and perhaps a couple more cocktails. Hope everyone at home is well, miss you all! xx

Au Revoir!

Well it's nearly time to head to the airport and apart from a few goodbyes I am about ready! Just wanted to thank everyone for their presents and cards and well wishes over the last few weeks. Also thanks to everyone who came to my party and tried to give me alcohol poisoning ;) It has been a long hard year so far (albeit peppered with some amazing times) but I am looking forward to jetting off in search of some sunshine! Anyone who fancies a holiday please come and visit, otherwise please please stay in touch and let me know how you're getting on.

Some things I am going to miss: My friends, my family, my wife, my bed, my privacy, lie-ins, Ronnie's bagel bakery (how will I cope?!), endless games of Scrabulous - opiate of the masses, the Railway pub quiz (yes really), random nights that end in 269 bar, my cats, Orange Wednesdays, dinners with my urban family, Cadbury's fruit and nut, English diet-coke, the Observer Everyman crossword, Twinings, my books, my gold wedges (sorry shoes you were just too chunky to make the cut), fancy dress, Waterloo bridge and my pay cheque!

Some things I am not going to miss: The tube in rush hour (especially big sweaty men who squeeze on at the last minute when there's no room and make you spend the rest of the journey rammed in their armpit), the rain (except when I am in the rainforest I guess), Monday mornings, the cost of a pint, the North London line (especially its random closures), being a desk jockey, dating London men, efforts to try and wake me up at 6:30 to go jogging in Richmond, council tax, drunk texts - because you all have my new number and I still expect to receive them!

Anyway just time to go and say goodbye to the local now, so I'm off xxx